Waleed J. Iskandar
(1967-2001)
"Wherever he was, that became the best place in the world to be"
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( Psalm 23: 1-4) Today's Responsorial Psalm was "The Lord is my Shepherd": - The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want. - He maketh me to lie down in green pasture: he leadeth me beside the still waters. - He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness, for his name's sake. - Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. - Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. - Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever." Lennox Berkely (1903-1989) (Sunday, 04/21/2002) |
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(Henry Van Dyke, American Author and clergyman, 1852-1933) TIME is too short for those who wait. Too swift for those who fear. Too long for those who grieve. Too short for those who rejoice. But for those who love, time is ETERNITY. (04/21/2002) |
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Two hundred forty days passed since you left this earth. I count them by seconds. Every single day, from the moment I open my eyes, to the moment I close them, your image is in my head and in my heart. How, on earth, did this happen to us? Why did this tragedy befell on our home? Is there a reason for your loss? Is there a meaning for your demise? A thousand questions encircle my brain. I am incapable to find an answer. I hope time will show me the way. I pray that time will heal my wound. (05/09/2002) |
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(May, 09, 2002) We took the plane to Boston and then drove to Sudbury to Sany's home. Everything we saw here reminded me of you. From the moment the plane landed and we walked through the jetway, I could see you afar waiting for us to come out. We were in the car and we drove past Beacon Street, I looked at your flat, no. 466, and recalled the times we stayed there and enjoyed the view of the Charles river from the bay window. I saw you in every street crossing and in every restaurant that we visited together. The Boston that I knew is the Boston with Waleed. I cannot imagine Boston without Waleed. In Sudbury, sitting in Sany's living room, I could imagine you resting in the couch watching your favorite TV program. At the dining table, I could see you eating and enjoying every bite of your mom's cooking. We missed you every minute of the time that we spent there. The hardest time was when we walked through the departure lounge of Logan airport. I could visualize you walking these steps toward the airplane, passing through security, then sitting in the lounge and finally proceeding towards your seat. After take off and inside the plane, your memory never left my imagination. The horrible things that took place inside flight AA11 on September 11 2001 ran in my head like a movie clip. I can guess the amount of fear and the panic and the trepidation that you went through. I could feel the concern and the anxiety that went through your head at that horrific moment. Oh God! What a horrendous day!!! (May, 20, 2002) |
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The Red Cross offered us to ship your personal belongings from London to Home. Your mom and I dreaded the idea and slept on it for nine months. Then we decided that we should do it. So, we came to London. It was the worst experience that we can ever have. We looked in your well organized and beautiful collections of photos. There are the family collection. There are Your school days photos. There are you trips that you have taken all over, the Hague trip, the Athens trip, the Belize trip and so on. Then we found the school collection, the Snoopy play, the equestrian club days, the swimming club summer, the water skiing classes, the graduation ceremony etc. We packed them all with your souvenirs from Africa, India, South America, Europe and the Far East. Samia and I could not live in the flat anymore. With every move that we take inside the flat, we miss you and wish that you are with us. So we decided to put it for sale. I am waiting for the shipment to arrive. Then, there will be a new link between you and me. (May, 20, 2002) |
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When you graduated from Stanford, in 1989, you brought for me from Stanford store my first computer. It was an Apple computer with 2 MB of Hard Drive memory. The size of the screen was 9 inch. I told you then: "Son! do you expect your old Dad to understand computer?". You laughed and said: "Yes Dad, it is for your retirement, you will enjoy it". You were so right. Now, I wonder how did we do all these years without a computer. I spend between 6 and 8 hours a day in front of it. I do all my daily work on it, read mail, glance at the newspapers of the day, get answers to all my queries..... Did I ever thank you for that? If I did not, now I tell you "Thanks!". |
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I had dreams for you. All my life I could see the bright future that is waiting for you. I could visualize you as a CEO of a big USA corporation. Or, as the owner of a huge company with hundreds of employees. I would walk beside you passing by all the working desks, the same way you used to walk with me when we used to visit the construction sites, back in Kuwait. How proud I could have been to see all that! Alas! The hideous acts of that atrocious day put an end to my dreams. Now, I can dream no more .......... (May, 24, 2002) |
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How could I think of you in the past tense? How can a father reflect on his child except with the present? It is expected for the child to outlive his parents. It is natural for children to bury their father. It is uncommon for a father to survive his sibling. It is unlikely, not normal, unusual, out of the ordinary, unexpected and not accepted .... But it happened to me. (May, 25, 2002) |
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When I feel such overwhelming grief, I ask God to give me the strength to face life again. But also to give me the wisdom to comprehend that I need to go on and that there are other siblings whom I should care about. Many tell me that time will heal my wound. But for me, nothing has changed. The wound, down inside of my heart, is so deep. The hole is bottomless. Nothing yet has filled the void that his death has caused. There is no stopping of the tears from falling so abundantly. God! I know you hold the answer to the most asked question. When Waleed died I have asked you “WHY”? If there is no answer, then help me say GOODBYE! (May, 31, 2002) |
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